I know this is the right thing to do

This morning was bad… so bad that I cried otw to work

Y I am affected?

1.       Didn’t bother to send me to work w/o explanation
2.       Neutral on comments abt other guy (I know this has to stop)
3.       No mention of how counseling went (I know it is only fair and right if it progressed. I know its was tru religious counseling cos that’s all is mentioned today during meeting)
4.       No mention of feelings for me (when he only told me he missed me yest morning and went quiet after the counseling)
5.       Told me about his kids missing time with him and he didn’t know (I know it’s guilt kicking in and obvious signs that family is first)

Asking me earlier if I feel for the other guy. Why would you want to know if you don’t care?

1.       Pride & ego (want to feel needed and that I’m still craving to be with him)
2.       Pretend that he still cares
3.       Control (still hv control over me)

I need to keep reminding myself:

1.       The status of their counseling is none of my business
2.       He is just playing psychological games, with the intention to make himself feel good and the words are NOT real!
3.       I should be a bigger person to be happy if they succeed. Life isn’t about making everyone suffer just because you are no longer in the same playing field

During lunch - he shared about their counseling session and from what I gathered from our entire conversation, he will never leave the family.

Staying in for her, his kids, extended family etc. He will never leave cause he doesn’t want to be the person who called it quits. I know she will not either.

He asked me to the room earlier, tried to be funny but I refused.

I took courage to tell them to cut all contact moving forward and he agreed.
It really hurts badly but I know this is for the best.
He can go back to the family, I back to my priorities in life.
Enough of the ding dong and lies…
It’s gg b so hard in the days ahead but I hv faith that I can do this with God’s grace!