What is love?

Was a good weekend with reduced time on checking my hp...
there were a few messages and missed calls from him
Didn't want to explain why I didn't answer/reply so I lied that I was unwell
The time 'away' from him, felt good because :

• I was focusing on myself and my gal
• I didn't spent much time wondering what he was doing with her and his family
• I was not wondering if he was thinking about or missing me
• It basically felt good not to care or think about 'us' and where this was going

A friend once said this to me - "I don't think you really love him"
Was thinking about this earlier... Do I love him? Or do I just think that I love him because he is unattainable?
I wonder if he knew the difference...
Maybe he does, that's why he is not willing to let go of what he has
Will anybody ever know what they truly really want/need?

I remember saying to a friend that "if he left her/family for me, I would despise him as he would not be the man that I think that he is"
I cannot remember when exactly it changed to "I hope he would leave her cause he wanted to, not because I wanted him to"
Did this change because of love? Or because I don't want to be the loser in this battle?

Will I ever know the true meaning of love?