Friday, February 14, 2014

A different kind of Valentine's Day

Googled for the definition of Valentine's Day - "Valentine's Day is a time when people show feelings of love, affection and friendship."

I decided that I shall not indulge in self pity today but instead lift myself up, count my blessings and appreciate myself today

My blessings :
  • My family - for being there during my financial difficulties, divorce and continuous support through my ups/downs
  • My health - to allow me to live life to the fullest. I am healthy enough to talk, walk, make decisions for myself, love others etc
  • My friends - for being there for me through good/bad times. We may not spend a lot of time together but I know that they will be there for me when I shout for help
  • A - for giving me my gal, for showing me on what I want in a life long partner, for being 'there' for me, for tolerating my childish behavior for the many years
  • My work - for giving me the financial security that I need to bring up my gal, the people that I have met, those who have helped me to move up the ladder
  • My past experiences - my depression, people whom have come into my life, the lessons that I've learnt, the challenges that I've faced
  • My gal - for being my pillar of strength, serving as a constant reminder that I have to be strong for her as I am the sole provider, for loving me unconditionally, letting me know that I am deeply loved
  • God - for letting me have a chance to know him, answering my prayers and gaining strength from him
  • Fellow bloggers - who allowed to understand why I feel in a certain way, to learn from others, to relate to others, give compassion when others need it.

I appreciate and love myself for:
  • Picking myself up after A and wanting to be a better person
  • Knowing what is right and trying to do right by others (Not successful but I am still trying)
  • For not lashing out at her, despite the pain I have inside myself
  • For not telling him my inner most thoughts (that I want to be with him)
  • Trying to come to terms that there will never be a "us" and learning to be by myself
  • For stopping my excessive drinking and trying to find other ways to cope with my pain

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