Don't we have a choice too?

I once shared everything with him...
Trying hard to hold back now - why would I want to bare my soul to someone who is only showing me his masked face?
What's the point of me telling him what I need when he can never be there for me? Even if he could help me, it will only cause me to hold on tighter to him...

I have so many questions that I want to ask him but don't dare..
I wonder how things are progressing for them.. I would think it is better since he's running off home everyday...
Will I believe what he says? I guess not, why bother asking?

I was weak and asked him out for dinner yesterday
Had a good time and realized how much I missed him

Read someone's blog, asking for guidance on what her MM was trying to tell her
Made me ask myself and wonder...
I am so guilty of that, always making myself miserable by trying to read into his words... what does he mean by this, what is he trying to tell me?
Do I have to read into everything he is saying or doing? What can't I just believe whatever he's telling me?
He can ask me to stay on like this but the question is - do I want to? Can I do it happily with no demands?
He can ask me to leave but am I ready to let go without a fight?
Isn't all this my choice too? I can choose to leave right? Then why do I have to ask him to let me go?
Why do I depend my actions on his decision?
Why am I behaving exactly like him?
He's waiting for her to throw him out so that he doesn't have to make a (right or wrong) decision?
Why am I allowing him so much control over me?
Why am I allowing him to call the shots and allowing him to cause me pain, unhappiness and all?'
I blame him for causing me hurt and for bringing me all this pain...

At the end of the day, I should blame myself for allowing him to step all over me