Wednesday, January 8, 2014

False hope again


I got drunk again yesterday but thank God that my rambling went to J but some garbage still went to him… I barely had any recollection >.<"

We sat in car in the evening and he shared about her comments of me, what he shared with her … oh yes and their attempt at intimacy
He left after claims of his mum (again)… she must have summoned him home. I know it is expected but it doesn’t mean that it will not hurt

In the afternoon – he told me of their intent for a lawyer visit next week
He insisted that he had no intentions with his sharing but do I believe? I really don’t know.. fact – I still bear hopes which I know is ridiculous

He commented something to this extend that if he push hard enough, I will say yes. Kinda piss me off when he said that cos it makes me feel manipulated and its like I'm playing games with him (maybe I was but...)

Why do I keep giving false hopes to myself?

This is IT!

There will be no more silly texts to him - stop embarrassing yourself gal!
I am going to concentrate on my well-being - yes to more exercise! No more binge drinking anymore!

I must learn from history but not live in it! I can do it!

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