It's over

He told me he wanted out, out of the blue last evening
I am still in shock and disbelief
In the morning, he held my hand and said he wanted to be with me
And told me otherwise in the evening
I cannot understand why this is happening and why it was so random

I tried calling, texting & approaching him just now but my attempts failed

I ‘caught’ him as he was leaving his room and asked for a talk which he agreed to later
He just replied my text and admitted to withdrawing from me (I asked him if he was in the late morning)
And said he wanted out due to shame and insecurity towards his kids and me
If so, then why tell me otherwise in the morning?
I guess my 6^th sense has always been spot on

As much as I want a reconciliation, I will not ask for one

I only ask for the truth from him
I am at least entitled to this much right?
I will force myself to accept even if he told me that he wants to work again on his marriage
But pls don’t give me anymore cock and bull stories

I feel so hurt

It’s so painful to be rejected
I know I was the one who gave him the knife to stab me but I wasn’t prepared when it hit

I know the truth or lie shouldn’t matter at this point

I asked for this to end and I got what I asked for
In a way, I feel relieved it’s over
No more games or skirting around issues
No more second guessing his words
I know now, where I stand in this and my worth, value
He doesn’t love me
But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t love myself
I should love myself more precisely because he doesn’t

I wish him and his family the best

I know they will strive and love stronger than before