My gut feel vs his words/actions

Last week, I asked him to reconsider if he wants to be with me
I couldn’t help myself – I guess I needed the assurance as I sense his strong withdrawal and disconnect from me
He was supposed to give me his answer yesterday but he claimed his child was sick
I assumed he bailed on giving me an answer and took sick leave to avoid being in ofc in anger
 

He told me his decision today – he wants to be with me

He didn’t offer me his answer, I had to push for one from him
I really do not know what is going through his mind
I am so tired of second guessing and feel so lonely
He told me he has a meeting at 10am and another in the pm
I checked his calendar and noticed the pm one is 430pm
He will have about 4 hours in between
In the past, he would come back to be with me
But now… my 6th sense tells me that he will go home
I know what this means

Deep down, I know that he is just buying time.. to end amicably with me

In the meantime, he has a listening ear, someone to accompany him, doesn’t have to be awkward with me, guilt
This will end eventually when he/I leave

His signs:
·         Less texts – I really mean a lot, a lot lesser
·         No promises
·         No mention of love or feelings
·         Don’t want to go out – I gotta ask again, again and again
·         Other than work, no other talks about himself/family
·         No text replies to me despite being online and after reading my texts. Even if there is one, only a few words

I want to say this to him:

·         Pls just tell me the truth… I know you want to be with your family and I rather you tell me straight
·         I sense your withdrawal, it is very obvious
·         I really missed you when I was not feeling well and realized that you will never ever be ‘there’ for me
·         Do you know how much I envy her?
·         Do you know how pathetic I feel? F*cking cheap. You treat her like a queen and me a beggar for some of your time

I asked him last week if he was spending time with me, he gave me a 'time-slot'

Just now, I asked him again what's for this week. Then he gave me another for tomorrow
I can’t understand why I have to be the one who asks
I will stop asking for something that doesn’t want to come willingly

She is so good for him

She is such a forgiving wife
Someone who looks after the family and kids
Such a good Christian woman who is a f/t SAHM
As he said, friends always ask for her advise and they are a model couple
There is no place for me, I shouldn’t even be outside looking in

God, it has been a difficult few days for me

She’s been updating her WA pics with family, kids, pics and its affecting me
Pls give me the strength to let go
I want to be ‘hopeless’ about him, the situation and give up
While I really want him with me, I know he should return to his family wholeheartedly