Trying to come to terms

I don’t understand
How could he just cut me off like that?
It’s been about 16 months… and I’m amazed that he could just drop me in a snap of a finger
Did I ever mean anything to him?
I don’t understand how he could be so cold

I blocked him over the weekend on WA
He texted me and asked if I was ok and called me twice
I’m proud of my small achievement – I didn’t answer or reply
I’m not ready to unblock him, for now

Should I be angry?

Yes I have a right to be
Afterall, he just dropped me like a hot potato
He was needy when I wanted out
He dropped me when I wanted him
I loved him so much but yet what I gave wasn’t enough

Should I be disappointed?

Yes I definitely am
He said that he wanted to spend his life with me but didn’t mean it
He couldn’t live up to his words but turned this around
He assured me of his love but his words turned out to be cheap
He’s definitely not the man that I thought he was

Should I be frustrated?

Yes I absolutely am at this whole situation
He didn’t let me have a say in his decision
What would I say if he asked?
I guessed this farce would have dragged on
What’s the point?

Should I be grateful?

Yes I should be grateful that he finally decide to be the man
I know that I don’t have the strength to end this and neither did I want it to
He did the right thing by cutting this off
I still feel that he could have managed it better
Is there a better method?
Would that have made me accept the ending better?
I guess not

Should I feel relieved?

Yes I should feel relieved that this is finally over
I can finally stop looking at my hp a gazillion times per day, wondering why he didn’t text me
I can cease my questioning of why he doesn’t ask me out
My self-doubt, self-questioning, self-condemnation
Does it matter why it’s over?
Do I need to analyze the root cause?
Did this happen because he wants to work on his marriage with his wife?
I need to reconcile the fact that nothing else matters

It’s finally really over
There will never ever be a us (and there wasn't any from the start)
I can now lift my head high, I am no longer TOW
I am my own woman