I don't know what I'm doing anymore

She changed her WA profile pic yesterday
I suspect she saw my new profile pic and decided to show me their couple pic
I know they are lovey dovey and I don’t blame her for wanting to show me how happy they are (it is a reminder to myself that he's lying to me still)
I have decided there wasn’t a need for me to hide my face…
She already knew about my existence… it would be so easy for her to just wait for me outside ofc
The WA belongs to me, what belongs to her – was never mine in the first place – there is no need for me to hide anymore
The same applies to A, she is his daughter – he has every right to see how she looks like

Despite what he says to me verbally, calling me dear, his claim of missing me and appearing to care about my well-being

I know that his heart is with her and his family
Why did I tell him that I missed him?
Why am I doing this? I have cut it off already, why am I turning back again?

God, I put myself in your hands and seek refuge from you
I am exhausted…. pls help me...

My baby step for today - no staring at my hp.. small bb steps... before I try to leap